Struggling To Connect With God: My Story
Struggling to Connect with God Drowning in Motherhood
During a challenging season with two young children, one of whom was particularly difficult, I often felt overwhelmed by the demands of motherhood. With my husband working 80 hours a week and battling severe depression, I found myself carrying the weight of our family alone. It was a time of deep pain and isolation, where thoughts of divorce crept into my mind—an unimaginable option until then.
Turning to God in Desperation
Desperate for solace, I turned to God daily as my lifeline. Each morning, before anyone else woke, I walked, pouring out my heart in tears and prayers. Our home, weighed down by my husband’s struggles, felt devoid of peace. Amidst the chaos, even moments set aside for prayer were interrupted by my children. Anxiety became my constant companion, manifesting in heart palpitations during hectic mornings and throughout the day. I knew Jesus was the answer and things like reading the bible, prayer and worship would all help. But I often felt like I had no energy to pray or read the Word or anything… and I needed help to help me still find ways to connect with God.
The Search for Peace Through Christian Meditation
Remembering the calm and peace I felt when I was exercising relaxation meditation during my pregnancy preparing for a healthy delivery. It was mainly just relaxation techniques with mindfulness and breath work to try and relax your body as much as possible to help you cope better with pain and fear of the delivery. I remembered how that used to make my body feel so relaxed so I sought ways to regain that peace through looking for Christian meditation on YouTube. Yet I couldn’t find the perfect blend that I was looking for and often wondered why no one had created videos like this yet. Something that had all the elements combined with breath-work, meditating on bible verses and prayer. I just knew that this would help benefit so many christians, especially those struggling with trying to spend time in the word.
Creating the Christian Meditation Videos I Needed
Fast forward a few years, I am crafting the very videos I longed for during those tumultuous years. My hope is that these resources provide solace to mothers sneaking moments of peace in bathroom breaks, or to anyone grappling with their faith, needing a gentle guide back to God. If you find yourself at rock bottom, know you’re not alone. Through these videos, may you feel the comforting hand of Jesus, reaching out to lift you from the depths.